Tired of it all!

I truly am tired of it all. None of this is my fault. It was never my plan for things to happen this way. 7 yrs. ago when I said, "Why don't you let us keep the twins til you get your life together." I thought, in all my naivety, that she would do just that. Pull her life together for the sake of the kids. It's not my fault that didn't happen. Throughput the whole thing I have tried to maintain a relationship with their biological family as much as possible because I thought, and still do think, that it's important for them to have a relationship with their mother, their siblings, and other members of their family. It's also not my fault that their mother made wrong choices time after time. That she would pop in and out of their lives constantly, or that her popping deeply effected the twins. Steven especially has been hurt by it all. He has always been very loyal to his mother. Last winter when she came back and promised all kinds of things that never came true, Steven was devestated and started acting out very badly. It was very scarey for a while and pretty much took over my entire life. There were days I actually had to lock is in the house just to make sure he didn't do anything that would hurt himself or anyone else. And we had to call crisis counseling. Steven has made a lot of improvement. We are having him assessed to see if there is something psychologically wrong. I am also homeschooling both of them which is going well. Unfortunately recently some things have happened recently that has made their bio family mad at me. Our counselor has said that she thinks it's best if they have no contact with their mom at this time, and of course that made her angry. But we have to do what's best for the children. I worry that Steven will be angry when he finds out. He hasn't brought her up so either have we. I feel bad about this. I don't like to be at odds with anyone. But once again none of this was my doing. I am just doing all I can to do what's right for the twins.