:(

I'M not in a really good mood this afternoon, and I don't know why. We had Apryl from Friday til today, went to Mallory 's birthday party, and basically had a good weekend. Even though we got snowed in. I've never minded being snowed in as long as we have heat and food I'm good. :) We talked about a lot of "issues " over the weekend. That's probably what's got me down. People should really think about how their decisions and choices affect others around them. Steven had a major meltdown this morning because of some things that were discussed this weekend. My bad I guess. Must be more careful. I had to hold him down for a while. It's not a pleasant experience and inevitably makes me sad.

Superwoman!

Yes. That is how I'm feeling today. Depressed. And I'm on medication for that. So what gives? And I'm a Christian. Supposed to turn it all over to God. Right? So what's my problem? Why do I feel like this? Oh, ye of little faith, right? No. I know He's here with me. That doesn't stop me from feeling down. There always seems to be one more thing. Now on top of homeschooling, housework, Counseling appointments, Orthodontist appointments, etc. We can add Speech Therapy and Occupational Therapy. AND I'm supposed to work with him (them) at home too. Because I have soooo much spare time, right? Does anyone see a cape on my back? Because I think I'm supposed to be Superwoman.

Yesterday

I was going to write last night but my facebook page wouldn't behave. Probably a good thing as I was tired and depressed. Feel a little bit better this morning, although our morning's are rarely pleasant and this one was no different. Steven almost always has problems in the morning before his meds kick in. And sometimes he won't take them right away which makes it even worse. Yesterday I felt bad for many reasons. It is hard to be a mom to two children with "issues ", and a Grandma at the same time. I adore my grandbabies. Just hearing their voices over the phone or seeing them makes me smile. But when I have all four together I feel like I cannot be the Grandma I want to be, because I have to deal with the twins at the same time. And I love them too. They are my children too. Not of my body but of my heart. Baileigh adores the grandkids but sometimes she gets her nose out of joint and is not as nice to them, or at least to Reese as she should be. It's her fault he expects her to be his constant playmate. She made him that way when he was a baby. But now sometimes she doesn't want to be and she's not nice to him. Which hurts me too because he's just a little guy and I love him so. There are other things that bother me too. Like when people tell me what we should be doing with the twins, or not be doing, when they have no idea what our lives are like. Like the fact that sometimes I feel like an awful Christian because I get angry and frustrated and sometimes lose my temper. Because I have to take meds myself to keep myself from having a nervous breakdown. Does that mean I don't have enough faith in God? I never thought I'd have to take drugs. I always felt I was a strong person. Noe I don't know.

Back

I have missed my blog so have decided to start it up again. There is such a thing in this country as freedom of speech. I never wrote anything to intentionally hurt anyone, but at the same time I told the truth, and sometimes the truth hurts. I started this blog for a couple of reasons, mostly so that anyone interested could get an idea of what our lives are like. Right now things are going pretty well. Steven's doing much better. He still has meltdowns but not as often and we are learning how to better handle them, although sometimes we don't handle them as well as we should. Homeschooling is going well. They are both good about settling down to do their work. The biggest problem we have is finding the time to time to do it. On an average we have two or three appts. a week. I try to make our appointments in the afternoon because if we don't Steven can't get motivated to do his work. I guess that's all for now. :)